"
Rip off this lace
that keeps me imprisoned.
Crownless again shall be the queen.
Someday I`ll learn to love these scars.
Hurt me - I love to suffer.

Dressed as one,
a wolf will betray a lamb.
One fragrant rose is worth ten times what I am.
"



Random Nightwish lyrics.. just the only way I can really explain how i'm feeling right now. I'm going to paint right now, and will most definitley be painting something about today. I feel like if I throw up any more, my stomach will just fold over on itself and make its way out of my mouth somehow. I have now experienced the feeling of being completely unaware of your surroundings; being unable to control the simple actions that you go through every day effortlessly. It would seem like it's not a big deal, but for some reason I just...I have this weird feeling that I can't even explain. It's one of the worst feelings that I can ever imagine myself having, the feeling of having no control over my own self. I don't know...it's just that feeling that you are so incredibly alone, even though you aren't. Everything I could ever want, I have - But I don't REALLY have it yet. Probably unfairly, I hate everyone: everyone that touches your skin, everyone that gazes into your eyes, everyone that can hear your heartbeat. Because I CAN'T. I can't do any of those things, and then my selfish nature kicks in and makes me despise everyone that CAN. I need to feel your touch, because it's the only touch I will welcome. Once I feel you beside me, these feelings will all go away. Just the touch of your body, the feeling of you next to me - to FEEL you loving me. Your touch...I long for it every day, and I will never stop even when I get it. Your voice is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard; But I'm dying for your body. You mean more to me than you will ever know - more than I can ever show you. I am nothing - All i'm useful for is giving people something to look at. But you...you're everything. You're beautiful. You're stunning. You're perfect. No..You aren't those things, because they barely scratch the surface. Alright, I'm going to stop writing about stupid things that nobody cares about. Nothing i'm saying even makes sense... I don't even know what i'm trying to say.


Another Feature, because they can describe my own feelings more that I can myself.